Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: cards, Christmas, decorations, leftovers, new year, resolutions, tree
On the first day of Christmas my true loves gave to me: a fabulous wine opener and some wine stoppers! Finally, something I can use.
On the second day of Christmas: we took back our Christmas tree! Here’s the deal, this year we bought a fake tree. Being an Oregonian I have always thought that there was something very wrong about having a fake tree however I also remembered that real trees are messy, expensive, need water and cost money to dispose of. So I broke down and we bought a tree For $240 at a local big box store (that shall remain nameless) on December 13th. On December 14th they went on sale for $188. A few days after that MFH and I went to get a credit for the difference and the store refused to follow through with their own pricing policy because they claimed that the item was “on clearance” and therefore we were not entitled to a refund of the difference. SO, we bought the same tree at a local store for 50% off and took it back to another store, with the original receipt from the 13th! We showed them! They could have saved over $50 by just giving us the credit but we received almost $110 back because they were jerks! Merry Christmas!
On the third day of Christmas: I counted all of our Christmas cards and realized that half of the people that we sent cards to, didn’t return the favor. Do they hate us? Is it the economy? Either way, they’re off of next year’s list! And what about those Christmas letters? I finally got to read them and realized that I know a lot of perfect people with perfect families and perfect lives (yeah right).
On the forth day of Christmas: I started throwing out the leftovers, and there were a lot. Green-bean casserole, boiled potatoes, even pie and cookies! I can wait another year to see some of those dishes again.
On the fifth day of Christmas: I was ready for school to start up again!
On the sixth day of Christmas: I attempted to motivate myself to get some work done…….but wrote this post for my blog instead 
On the seventh day of Christmas: I will prepare for another party! It’s New Year’s Eve and another reason to celebrate!
On the eighth day of Christmas: I’ll nurse my hangover.
On the ninth day of Christmas: I’ll write my New Year’s resolutions list…..and it’s gonna be long!
On the tenth day of Christmas: I’ll break my first New Year’s resolution.
On the eleventh day of Christmas: I’ll break all of the remaining resolutions!
On the twelfth day of Christmas: I’ll pack up all of the decorations, the ornaments, the stockings, goofy hats, and clean my home….unless I feel that blogging would be more fun and motivating.
Happy Holidays to all!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: CVS pharmacy, daughters, friends, funny, humor, Menstral Cycle, menstruation, pads, Period, sex education, tampons
I felt like a change, I hope that you enjoy the new look of my site……I think it’s peaceful!
I must preface this post by saying that if you’re a man reading this, you may want to think twice. Although I think that this is an amusing little story about a mom explaining the facts of life to her daughter, a man may be put off. So there it is, I’ve given you fair warning!
4 years ago FD was about 10 and believe it or not she actually had friends that were starting to get their periods. (As a side note: I blame it on the hormones in milk and other food products, but I have nothing to back up this claim, it’s just my belief!) One evening she was complaining of a stomach ache and since I was so paranoid that she could be getting her period I decided that it might be time to have “the period talk” with her. I asked her to localize her pain. “Is it up here?” I inquired, placing my hand just below my chest “or is it down here?” I asked, very carefully placing my hand on my abdomen.
She must have thought I was nuts because that’s the look she gave me (and she gives me this look ALL of the time). Either way she informed me that she was sure that it was her stomach and not a pain in her abdomen. While this was a relief to me it also sparked the opportunity to ask her about her knowledge of the female anatomy. So I asked “Do you know what it looks like in here?” and I placed my hand back on my abdomen. She shook her head no and gave me an inquisitive look, so I made the suggestion that we find a picture of the female organs on the Internet.
Hind site is 20/20 and if I had to do it over again I would never have allowed my 10 year old to look over my shoulder while I googled “female organs”. It’s horrifying what you find……and it certainly sparks a whole plethora of questions! After my initial shock I suggested that FD “sit down and watch TV while “mommy finds an appropriate site to visit”.
Eventually I found the proper diagram and I invited FD back over so that I could show her where an egg develops and travels and what the uterus is all about. She seemed fascinated…..and then I got to the part about our “monthly visitor”. I prefer to call this visitor Flo, she visits every month, stays for about a week (just long enough to wear out a welcome), we’re glad when she leaves but we hope she comes again, same time, next month. OK, that’s not exactly how I explained it, but you get the idea. Speaking of ideas, I had what I thought, was another great one……..but remember hind site?
After I felt confident that she understood how periods worked, I decided to show her what tampons and pads look like and how they function. I thought back to an experiment that we did in sex education when I was in school. It must have had an impact on me because I can’t believe that I remembered it! Here’s what my health teacher did: she took a small glass of water and dunked a tampon into the glass. SLOWLY, the tampon soaked up the water, not all of it but enough that we all understood the concept.
Tampon technology has sure come a long way because that’s not exactly what happened in our experiment. I got the glass of water and went into the bathroom. I pulled out a REGULAR (not Super nor Super Duper) tampon and as I dropped it into the glass my FD and I watched in stunned silence as the tampon soaked up the entire glass of water in less than 1 second…..it may have even happened in a nano-second, it was that fast! She was horrified, completely freaked out, and I had a lot of explaining to do.
She vowed to never use a tampon and I was almost right there with her! I had to explain to her the science regarding the differences between certain substances but that really did nothing to calm her fears. In the end I apologized, threw out my mess and FD and I went back to what we were doing before our little chat began.
FD finally got her period recently and at an inopportune time…..while we were on vacation! I took her to the local CVS which was across the street from where we were staying and as we stood in front of the “wall of pads” we laughed hard about the different options. I had to explain that I had no idea what she should get since I used tampons, and based on our experiment from several years ago that was not an option for her. I asked her what her friends used and she gave me the “are you nuts” look again. It took a while but we finally settled on something with wings, to which I reminded her “when in doubt, take flight”!
I think that it’s great that I have a relationship with FD where we can laugh about “that time of the month”. Periods were no laughing matter when I was a kid….I was devastated and begged my mother not to tell anyone when I got mine. FD couldn’t wait to call her friends, she is proud and I am proud of her. Little does she know she has many, many years of fun times ahead!!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: addicting, addiction, Blackberry, communication, Facebook, sleep, status update, teenagers, text messaging
OMG, like IDC wat u do…..wat evr!
WHAT? Okay, I’m addicted to Facebook and my new Blackberry(aka: Crackberry)…..and I’m learning how to speak “text” and “chat” and it’s seriously like learning another language. The best part is: I can now communicate with my children again!
Have you ever had the opportunity to check out Facebook? It’s pretty neat, I mean cool, or awesome!Actually it’s a great way to connect with friends, family, co-workers, networks, former classmates…..you name it. This is not an advertisement for Facebook but I am able to connect and communicate with people that I may otherwise loose track of. In fact, I’m catching up with friends that I went to high school with and since I went to HS in New York and now live on the west coast there are quite a few people that I’ve lost touch with. I’m talking and communicating with friends that I haven’t seen in over 20 years, and that is very cool! In fact I’ve been dissed by my HS boyfriend, again! Ah, memories….LOL!
Technology is hard to keep up with though, and in all honesty if it wasn’t for MFH I would probably be lost. He has miraculously “sinked” (I know that’s not how it’s spelled) all of my “stuff”. But, between my Crackberry and FBI have found a much larger addiction. If you are familiar with FB then you will understand: the status update.
Thanks to the mobility of Blackberry and the “status update” on FB, I am now able to tell all of my “friends” exactly how I’m feeling, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! I actually find myself thinking about my mood as I would have it show up on my facebook “wall”. It’s a total addiction! So that you can understand, here are a few of the moods that I have had….and they all begin with ”Stacy is………..”
- “happy for her friends and their laughter!”
- “wishing she wore more comfortable shoes to shop in!”
- “speechless.”
- ”thinking that Tom Cruise has had a nose job……”
The list goes on. It’s been made even more fun by the fact that I can now update my status on my Blackberry!
But here’s the real problem, I find myself thinking in “status mode” throughout the day….constantly. I even woke up the other morning realizing that I had been dreaming in “status” mode: Stacy is falling and afraid she’ll hit the ground…..Stacy is running from an attacker and can’t scream…….Stacy is snuggling with her husband…………for crying out loud, it’s an addiction! Why would people care what the heck I’m doing 24/7??
But they do care, because they respond. They comment on my status. They ask questions and show concern. They are as addicted as I am and we all have a problem. I have over 55 “friends” on FB and at any given time we can know each others mood, feelings, thoughts, whereabouts etc. anytime of the day or night! It’s weird, it’s almost too connected…..but it’s addicting. In all reality I could update my status every minute or less!
And therein lies the next great 12 step program: to ween people off of the Facebook and in particular the need to constantly update everyone on their statusi, 24/7! AND in this fabulous economy that we’re experiencing, I think that I have a winner of a money maker!
(BTW, spellcheck went Ape S*** on this post, LOL! Maybe someone should invent a text dictionary…..ooooo, another money maker!)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: aging, doctors, falling apart, humor, old age, sick, Webmd.com
I’m falling apart. My body is failing me. It’s really very depressing but I suppose that it’s not entirely to be unexpected, after all, I’m getting older and it’s all part of the aging process, or so I’ve been told.
In the past year I have had more “issues” than ever. I’ve always been very healthy. Other than child birth and a tonsillectomy (at age 4) I have never spent time in a hospital; unless it was to visit a friend or family member. Those of you who have not been as fortunate as I, have no sympathy and I understand and forgive you (BFF J is now telling me to put two pairs of my big girl panties on). I am the furthest thing from a hypochondriac…..when I get sick I’m in denial, but when I’m REALLY sick I’m a huge wuss, because I never get sick. Does that make sense? I’m a wussy when I do have health problems because I’m not suppose to have health problems, I’m healthy! Until this last year that is.
I must preface this next paragraph by telling you that Webmd is probably the most irresponsible on line tool that no one should be using…..and of course I’ve highlighted it to provide you with a link so that you may see just how bad it can be. Please, whatever you do, do not rely on the diagnosis of this site. It is always in your best interest to consult with your own doctor, and when you do so, do not tell your doctor that you are there for a visit based on what Webmd told you was wrong with you. They REALLY hate that. It’s understandable and here’s why: According to Webmd, after inputting my symptoms I have cancer, and I’m dying……and I may be gone by the end of the year, “sniff”.
Now, I’m writing this very tongue and cheek. I’m sure that I’m fine. In fact, I visited my doctor and I’m fine….other than the fact that I’m falling apart. But, I’ve been told that happens at my age so I need to get over it. In the past year I’ve been diagnosed with kidney stones, tennis elbow, and now I need a skin grapht done on my lower gumline & my wisdom teeth removed. For someone who has never had a serious injury (other than a minor nose fracture in a freak bar fight in college….that story is for another time) I am in no hurry to proceed with any of the procedures that are required….because frankly I’m a wuss and I don’t feel the need to voluntarilly have pain inflicted on me, even if it’s covered by insurance and could make me feel better.
I’ve watched my parents and my grandparents age over the years and I think I’ll be ok, they are of pretty hardy stock so I’ve got that much going for me. I also enjoy a glass or two of red wine every so often and I know that’s suppose to be good for me. I don’t smoke and I eat pretty well so I’m going to attribute my rapid aging process to having a teenager. Those of you reading this that have a teenager will probably agree. Even the best kid will still give you an ulcer every so often and although I’m blessed with two great kids I can’t help but think that the grey in my hair and my physical ailments began to really show when the middle school years were upon our family.
Either way it could just be that I’m getting older and there is no stopping it. If you’re thinking that “it’s to be celebrated (with a big cheery smile)” then you’re wrong about that too! As I approach 40 I’m just going to rely on some of the new catch phrases that I’ve heard: 40 is the new 30 AND grey is the new blond! (and as I’m writing this I just pulled out my reading glasses, those are new too!)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Arizona, crazy, envy, family, inlaws, jealously, Mesa, retire, retirement, vacation, weather
I apologize for my brief hiatus, I just returned from a trip to Mesa Arizona to visit with the in-laws. AND I couldn’t have picked a better time of the year to fly south because it’s frickin’ freezing up here in Oregon!
All four of us me, my FD & FS and MFH were all flown down by my very generous father-in-law for four days and nights to spend his birthday with him. We had a great time (thank you for asking) and when we returned home Sunday night I fell into a deep depression….it was cold and I didn’t want to go to work the next day.
So, when I did wake up on Monday morning I was a 38 year old woman who became a 15 year old rebellious teenager with the raging (and often irritating) hormonal see-saw style attitude that literally lasted until I went to bed last night. Fortunately for MFH, I’m over it, somewhat.
Here’s my problem: I WANT TO RETIRE TOO (you have to say that in a very whiney, irritating childlike way). My in-laws are living the life that I want and I want it now!! Not in 20 years, NOW!
The in-laws are snowbirds. They live from April through September up here and are in Arizona during the winter (although the winter for them is 7 months!) They are not what you might call “wealthy”, both of their homes are very modest, in fact their place in Mesa is a park model (which is a small mobile home). They have lived financially “smart” and were both fully retired at 61. They live in a retirement community when they are in Mesa, complete with a huge recreation hall, swimming pool indoors and out, workout facilities, and you wouldn’t believe the activities available to them! Water volleyball, glass & wood working classes, concerts (on site), dinners…..the list goes on. Not to mention the friends that they have made down there…..they are from all over the US and Canada. OH, and I won’t even get started on the daily cocktail hours in the evenings, on the deck, in the warm weather……….
Then I come home to reality. My daughter has her period, my son is a backtalking nightmare, my clients are all in bankruptsy, foreclosure, divorce, or are just generally pissed that their homes haven’t sold and all I can do is wish, hope, and pray that someday, somehow I will live long enough to retire. And then I think “I’m going to have to kill myself to get there!”……I guess that’s why retirement is so sweet.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: actions, awareness, cell phones, effects, English, friends, parenting, rude, rude behavior, treatment
Almost every weekday morning I meet up with my BFF D for about a 45 minute brisk walk through our neighborhood and around the local park, and sometimes MFH joins us. Without fail we run into several other people while we’re out, many of them the same people every day. We all have our routine. Every once in a while we’ll walk by someone we haven’t seen before and at least once a week we’ll walk by someone who doesn’t return our cheery “Good Morning!” This morning that got me thinking about how rude people can be. AND, whether we all know it or not how we respond and how others respond to us can affect us throughout the day!
Here is my top ten list of rude behavior:
10: Chain e-mails that are sent by supposed friends that tell you to either forward it on to ten other friends or “you will have a horrible day”! What the heck is that?? Nice “friend”!
9: People who drive 10 miles under the speed limit with only a single lane of traffic and a double yellow line. It doesn’t cost anything to pay attention!
8: People who allow their dogs to poop on the sidewalk and don’t pick it up…..even when there is a free baggy, next to the garbage can, within 10 feet of where the offending poop happened!
7: People who pretend to not speak English. It’s one thing to really not know the language but if you’re not going to try, at least learn how to apologize for it, in English!!
6: Not signaling when going for a right turn. MFH is famous for that. He’s been flipped off for not signaling more times than I can count….and he deserves it every time!
5: It’s rude when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store and a new checker opens their lane and then takes the LAST person in line….the one behind you. “I can help whoever is next” does not mean the person behind me! OH, and then I’m the rude one for pointing this out to the checker with a pleasant “I believe I was next”…..no, that’s just irritating.
4: This one is touchy: people who talk on their phone in public places AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS. The last part is the most important. I think that people should be able to converse on their cell phones but they need to be mindful of their surroundings.
3: Parents who do not control their children…….need I say more? Public displays of poor parenting should not be tolerated.
2: People who are chronically late. Oh wait, that’s me….but I’m admitting that I have a problem and I’m working on it. I’ve trained my friends and family to expect me 30 minutes late to any function, so it’s working!
1: AND the number one most rude thing that people do? When you are a pedestrian and a car will not stop to allow you (by law) to cross the road at a cross walk….and then when you pleasantly remind them that you have the right of way by either flipping them off or by yelling “Hey, thanks asshole!” they actually give you a dirty look! That’s just rude, and wrong!
A wise friend once made the suggestion that I keep a journal of all of the people that I came into contact with and how I responded to them throughout the day. When I say “came into contact with” I mean anyone from the gas station attendant to co-workers….EVERYONE. She said that after she had done this she became acutely aware of how her responses and actions toward other people could have affected them negatively and thus she changed her attitude to become a person that was more mindful of how she treated others. That’s a nice thought, in theory.
Me on the other hand? I’ll keep using my car’s horn, my hand gestures and my all around pleasant use of the English language to counteract the effects of rudeness!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: camera, choice, Exhusband, recall, schemes, video, video camera
I was listening to the radio in the car yesterday and I heard an advertisement for a store that sells nothing but TV’s and video stuff. It reminded me of something that Dumbass had done about 11-12 years ago and I had to share the story with MFH. However I’m really coming to understand why sharing these crazy stories with my current husband is not always the best idea. I’m beginning to look like the idiot for having married Dumbass in the first place!
Dumbass was always trying to come up with get-rich-quick schemes but this one really took the cake. I remember thinking that when he shared his idea with me and even though I shared that thought with him he still proceeded, as usual.
One evening on the local news there was a story about a video camera that was being recalled. This wasn’t something that would normally hold someone riveted to the TV screen except that the recall was due to the fact that the camera could potentially (not definitively) allow the viewer to become a voyeur. In other words the claim was that the camera could film in x-ray vision. Pretty far fetched but that was the claim and my X bought it hook, line and sinker!
He never did anything quickly, unless it benefited him and this day was no exception. Dumbass was at the store, fully prepared to be the first person through the door, and he was. He purchased all of the remaining recalled video cameras, 6, and if I remember right they were about $600 each. That’s right folks, he bought $3,600 worth of video cameras because he believed them to be able to film people through their clothes (I’m still shaking my head). He also believed that he could double his money because the demand would be so high once the story really got out that every weirdo on earth would want one of those cameras!
Now, it was a pity that this took place so long ago. There was no local Craigslist and E-bay was just getting up and running. In addition, my X actually held a full-time job (if memory serves) and so he had no time to attempt to market these cameras for sale. People he did try to sell them to told him he was crazy and that they had heard that it wasn’t true and/or they didn’t really show people “naked”. Go figure.
He never sold one of those video cameras and although I wasn’t there when he returned them I’m sure that it was a humbling experience for him (it may have been the only humbling experience that he ever had). The store clerk was reluctant to take all six back and they charged him a restocking fee. He was down the fee, the gas, the time and any humility that he may have once had.
This of course was not the only time something like this happened, there was always another idea that he was sure was going to make him money, fast. The problem was (and still is) that hard work and working hard never seemed to be an option. It’s taken me a long time and many reminders from MFH to know that I cannot expect a different result from someone who continues to make the same poor choices and errors in judgement. But then again, without those bad choices I would have nothing to write about!!
