Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: candy, cigarettes, distress, economy, fear, help, kids, moral, Obama, parents, Realtor, stranger, teachers
Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents and teachers would tell you to never take candy from a stranger? I do! I was so afraid that if a stranger ever offered me candy I would be a goner. Rape, death, abduction….all of these things and more would happen if I ever took candy from a stranger. Parents and teachers are very effective at scaring the shit out of kids. The funny thing is that as we grow older we forget the rule, we get bold, grow our own opinions, secure our own thoughts and completely forget the rule that we should never take candy from a stranger.
And I can prove it. Take a look at our current economic situation, our economy is dieing a slow and painful death and in my humble opinion it’s because we all forgot the rule: Never, I mean NEVER take candy from a stranger! We have all done it and now we’re going to pay the price.
I’m a Realtor. Currently I’m dealing with what I like to call “The Three D’s”: Divorce, Distress, and Death. These are my clients, and it’s very “D”epressing…..although I have this blog to help me cope. Divorce and death are typically unavoidable but it’s the issue of distress that may help prove my earlier point.
MANY of my clients are in financial distress and are defaulting on their home loans. In most circumstances it’s due to the fact that they never should have been allowed to purchase the home in the first place. In other words, purchasing a home just because they could do it didn’t mean that they should have done it and now they and the rest of the American people are paying for it. See, what happened was that a stranger came up and offered them candy and they forgot the rule and they took the candy and now they must suffer!
So then along comes the federal government, like a white knight on a steed and it ”has a plan”, and it’s a good one. It’s been called “the Obama Plan”, “Help for Homeowners”, “ Hope for Homeowners”, you name it, it’s your government to the rescue. But like a Snickers bar being held out to an unsuspecting child, just as we begin to move forward the “help” (or candy) gets yanked back and we now find ourselves struggling to break free, or worse, fighting for our livelihood.
That’s what happened this week. It’s been only one month since this “plan” has been rolled out and within 2 days mortgage interest rates rose over an entire percentage point to over 6%, leaving thousands of homeowners that were hoping for assistance now unable to get it and worse yet, significantly reducing buying power for perspective borrowers of homes that so desperately need to be sold.
But back to the moral of the story. Although I digressed into something morbid and disturbing (the economics of our country) I would like to point out that there are many lessons that our children are being taught today that will hopefully stay with them (but I have serious doubts). The “Stranger Danger” issue has taken a back seat to the new danger of smoking, almost to the point of absurdity but I’m not complaining. My kids are so in fear of cigarettes that they won’t even go into a restaurant where it’s ok to smoke, seriously they would rather starve!
So in looking back over what I’ve just written and in taking into account that we as adults grew up and are doing the opposite of what we were taught as children I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised if someday FS or FD becomes the CEO of Phillip Morris?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dr. Laura, job, mom, mother, mother's day, parenthood, success, thankless, worth
When I first became a mother over 14 years ago I was working retail at the local mall. I was 23, young and obviously dumb. I was working with a unique group of women far more experienced than me, in fact three of them were already grandmothers. One of these women was very wise, in fact I pretty much worshipped her. Because I feel the need to keep her identity a secret we’ll call her Mary (as in the blessed saint, and she’s Jewish so that’s actually funny!).
Mary had 2 children, both boys. By the time she and I had started working together her sons were pretty close to my age and Mary shared with me her desire to be a grandmother. In fact, when I found out that I was pregnant it was Mary that gave me my first baby gift, a teddy bear (which I cherish to this day…..but have no idea where it is).
After my beautiful baby girl was born I spent 2 months at home caring for her and then it was time to return to work (not a Dr. Laura fan at the time). I shared with Mary that I was overwhelmed by the fact that FD was not a great sleeper, an amazingly loud screamer and hungry ALL OF THE TIME. In other words motherhood was not what I had expected. In sharing these disappointments with Mary I was hoping for grace, understanding, guidance and hope. This is what I got (and it’s stuck with me over the last 14 years):
”Honey,” Mary said “I once took my boys to the doctor and told their doctor that I wanted to send them back!”
“Send them back?” I asked, not knowing that was possible…..but still somewhat hopeful.
Then, very delicately she said “I told him that I hated my children and that I could not be their mother.”
“Hated your children??” I exclaimed. And without saying it out loud I wondered “Who could HATE their own child?”
Sensing my unease Mary looked at me and said “My doctor assured me that this was simply a “faze” but trust me, some day you’ll be there too; you’ll know exactly what I mean.”
That story has haunted me to this day. I love my children, but I don’t always likethem. In the grand scheme of things it could be a lot worse but at the same time I could understand what Mary’s message was.
Parenting is a choice; and mostly the hardest choices are the ones that are of the most benefit to our kids, but we don’t see that at the time because it’s so much easier to give in to what they want so that they will stop complaining, or asking or screaming! So here are the choices:
- Be complete suck-up parents and give them everything they want.
- Be the complete opposite and have them grow up to hate you and everything you’ve ever done.
- Find the happy medium and then get screwed because they still hate you for not letting them do EVERYTHING that they want.
In other words we’re screwed. Funny thing is that I’m okay with that. I love my kids, they’re not my friends. I don’t think that I truly earned the “friend” distinction with my dad until only a few years ago and I’m pushing 40!
Being a mother is the hardest job on the planet and although I hear a lot of stories of mothers that say that it’s the most rewarding job ever, I’m sceptical. Being a mom never made me money, never made me feel “successful” and certainly hasn’t earned me any awards. So where is the reward? Is this the mind of a mother with teenagers, too overloaded and stressed? Or is this the mind of a woman who had children and expected way more than what the world could and/or should deliver?
It doesn’t really matter either way. I am a mom, I have a job and I’m doing it…..and that’s what moms everywhere do every day. It’s thankless and (yes even on Mother’s Day) it’s just what we do. So why is Mother’s Day only one day out of the year? Is that all that we’re worth?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: credit, idiot, mistake, MLM, money, spending, toys
I was thinking earlier today about items and/or services that I have purchased over the years and in hindsight now realize how horribly mis-spent those purchases were. I thought that I would share a few of them with you, not with the hope that you won’t make a similar mistake but rather to share with you my total and complete idiocy.
- After my divorce and before meeting MFH I spent $1,500 on a dating service. This was a special service that promised to match me with other “professionals”. I went out on one set-up date, while I was promised 15. A week after that date I met MFH and was not entitled to a refund (read the contract).
- I once bought into a $2,000 + $200/month MLM online video system that was not only going to make me rich but was also going to help me with my business and add credibility to my e-mails, web presence, etc. I have never pulled the cameras out of the boxes and I have no idea how to use the system. I was able to stop the recurring charges to my credit card but the $2K was gone for good.
- Last year I promised my assistant that I would get a “contact management” system and decided to go with a company that EVERYBODY in my office was using. There was a one time set-up fee of about $300 and recurring monthly fees of about $200. While my assistant used it sporadically, I was never that fond of it and the training that was promised was a joke. When I went to tell the company that I wanted to cancel their service they told me that I had signed a one year contract, so I was basically screwed! I showed them though, I cancelled the credit card that they were charging!
- A very long time ago, BK (before kids) dumbass and I went into a gallery in Cannon Beach and bought a bronze sculpture for about $2400. It was a total splurge, totally stupid. During the divorce he claimed this piece of artwork and since I wasn’t up for the fight I let it go. Surprise, dumbass went broke pretty quickly and about a year later and I was asked if I would like to buy it from him. I forked over $1K to buy it back, I knew that would happen.
- Home parties+friends with money = crap no one needs.
- I worked for about 4 years in a high end jewelry store. Would you care to guess how much beautiful jewelry that I’ll never wear that I own? Don’t bother, it would shock and disappoint!
OK, this is depressing the hell out of me, but at least I can say that I’m pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson! I actually ended up marrying a man who is pretty finacially savvy and he has helped me see the error of my ways. Then again have you seen the toys in our garage?
