Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: funny, smell, dogs, store, cashier, feminine hygiene, skunk, groomer
Well if that title doesn’t catch your attention, I don’t know what will!
My good friend and neighbor recently took her dog out for a run in the local park (off leash) and unfortunately the stupid animal got sprayed by a skunk….right in the snout too! It reminded me of a funny story so I thought that I would share it with you.
About 8 years ago I had a German Sheppard. Lexi was a sweet dog and rarely got into things however she managed at least 3 times to get close enough to a skunk’s ass and got sprayed.
On one such occasion it was a cold dark evening and I was too lazy to let her out of the back door. I decided instead to let her take a quick pee in the front yard and I opened the door just enough for her to run out quickly, do her business and run back inside. She was a bit faster than usual and as she slinked quickly back into the house it hit me like a ton of bricks…SKUNK!
It’s usually bad enough that you discover your dog has been skunked however that was far from the worst part of this story. Our home had just been listed for sale and we were having an open house the next day. Before I could stop her, Lexi ran into the den and began vigorously rubbing her nose right into the carpet. As you might imagine, I panicked. No wait, that’s not the right word, I FREAKED! I began chasing my dog throughout the house with the intention of grabbing her and throw her into the garage. She did everything in her power to evade capture. She ran under beds, hid under the dining room table, and at one point she was so scared that she had peed on the carpet, which only fueled my hysteria.
When I finally did get her out of the house, was able to get myself together and wrap my brain around the events of the last 60 seconds I began to realize that the open house would have to be postponed but more importantly….how was I going to get rid of that smell?
The carpet cleaning was easy, and immediate! The dog on the other hand was going to be a bigger challenge. I had heard about all of the usual remedies including tomato juice and specialty dog wash shampoo but I wanted to be thorough and get the job done so I called my dog groomer Jeannie for her expert advice.
My goal was to pay her to do the job; she politely declined. So I was on my own but not without her “ancient Chinese secret” recipe; and here it is: Feminine Douches. You read this right, the groomers remedy was a douche….and not just one but she thought that it would take several, given the size of my dog and the close range of the spray.
At that point I was willing to try just about anything and Jeannie sounded like she knew what she was talking about so I put on my baseball hat and sunglasses and off to the local grocery store I went.
Since it was early in the day I was very hopeful that the store would be empty. I all but sprinted to the “feminine hygiene” aisle and grabbed 6 boxes of the best douches money could buy…..because they must be the best right? AND God knew, I was not doing it again. When I arrived at the checkout (there wasn’t self-checkout 8 years ago unfortunately), I placed my products on the checkout belt and watched them inch closer and closer to the cashier who waited for them with shear disinterest.
Now I know that these cashiers don’t give a damn about what customers are buying, they’re just doing their job. But since this was a store that I frequented often and since a man had just pulled his cart up behind me I couldn’t help but think that my purchase warranted some kind of an explanation, whether anyone wanted to hear it or not.
So I said to the cashier “I know what you’re thinking.”
Obviously thrown off by my mind reading abilities she replied “You do?”
At which point I responded “These aren’t for me. They’re for my dog.”
You could have heard a pin drop in that instant while both the cashier and the man behind me were trying to figure out what I was going to do to my dog….it was a moment I wish I could have framed!
Naturally I went on to explain that the dog had been skunked, this was the groomers remedy and so on and so forth. Of course both of them had to put in their two cents about how tomato juice and a specialty shampoo were their remedies of choice but agreed that whatever gets the job done was all that mattered.
So I left the store with my purchase quadrouple bagged so as not to have to explain my problem to another living soul and went about the daunting task of de-skunking my dog.
Long story short, it didn’t work. She smelled for months after that. Lexi passed away about 5 years ago and I have fond memories of her, she was a good and loyal dog. This memory is not so fond, but it’s funny as hell!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: biggest loser, diet, dieting, family, food, health, loose, mental health, support, weight
No, I’m not hungry for anything strange and metephysical, the thrist for knowledge, hungry to learn, none of that garbage….this blog is not serious or deep, it’s literal……..I’m hungry!
Two days ago marked the beginning of the end of my weight gain. We’ve started a “Biggest Loser” contest at my office and being highly competitive in nature and knowing that I could stand to loose a few pounds and inches I happily plunked down the $20 entry fee and have now begun my journey down the path of “The Dieter”. This is not a path that I find particularly enjoyable but the winner gets the pot, consisting of all participant fees. Right now I’m not sure how many are actually participating but that doesn’t really matter……although hopefully it will be enough for me to buy some new jeans, since I’ll need them!
OK, so it’s only day 3 and so far, so good. I’ve been up every morning working out for at least 1 hour and I’ve limited my food consumption to fruits, veggies and low fat foods. I’ve decided to cut out breads, pastas, rice and crackers…..all foods that I have eaten regularly and mostly out of convenience. I honestly am beginning to feel better, not so bloted all the time. I knew I would feel better and I’m thankful for that if for nothing else, but what I didn’t see coming however is the total and complete LACK of SUPPORT!
So I guess that I should have seen it coming, it’s a contest afterall. Don’t get me wrong, I’m about the least sensitive person out there so it’s not as though my feelings have been hurt it’s just that some people are being evil (and you know who you are)! Other participants in my office are leaving messages on my Facebook page like “Come into the office and we’ll get you a cupcake with extra frosting” or how about the status update “does anyone in my office want a cookie? loaf of bread??” I know I should have expected it. So how do I combat the big talkers? By not saying anything and quietly dropping the 25 pounds that I want to loose and by taking the winnings and laughing all the way to the Mexican Riviera! Maybe they are more motivational than I give them credit for.
Dieting has also given me a hightened awareness of food advertising. Take today for example. I was listening to Dr. Laura in the car and a commercial came on for Sheri’s Restaurant. Care to guess what today is?? That’s right, it’s free pie Wednesday……shoot me! I love Sheri’s pies. And they don’t just say “It’s free pie Wednesday” they have to go into all of the different pie flavors…..like Banana Cream, Marionberry, Strawberry Rhubarb, Peach, Lemon Merange…….you get the point. I was so busy foaming at the mouth that it didn’t occur to me to change the channel until it was too late, the damage to my pysche was done.
Kids can be brutal too. Last night FD came home from her volleyball game and off-loaded the bag of goodies given to her by her “secret sister” which included crackers, candy, a coke and countless other yummy treats. I gave her the evil eye and that’s all it took. She bagged up her treats and headed for her room faster than you can say Hot Tamales! The problem is that now I know where to go to find “real food”.
I’m learning something through this process though, dieting is not so much about loosing weight as it is about gaining self-control. Over time and over the years it’s been easy to make excuses for not eating right but what it really comes down to our ability to say no, make good choices and stick to good habits. While I’ve also been reminded that support comes from within I’m also reminded that the choice to not pay rent for office space at my company’s location was the best decision as far as dieting success!!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: attorney, bitch, divorce, ex-husband, ex-wife, firm, lawyers, marriage, money, refarral
I am stunned by the amount of people and the “type” of people that are getting divorced these days….stunned! Recovering Straight Girl and I were the first in a long line of small town divorces but it would almost appear these days to have hit epidemic proportions. I hear of people from every walk of life, every religion and many that have several children and have been married forever! But that’s not what this post is about, it’s about my comical experience with a horrible Amazon-type divorce attorney that I hired….and then fired, several years ago.
Since I happen to know a few of the people getting divorces around town and since many of them know that I’ve “been there, done that” I find that I’m somehow a resource for other women looking for a good lawyer. I’ve had four. This is the story of the one that I DO NOT recommend….unless I’m feeling truly naughty and I don’t like the person that I’m giving a referral to.
Understanding that my previous marriage was over and that I needed to hire an attorney, I went on the advice of my old boss who recommended this particular woman because “she caused me to loose everything”. That’s right, my boss recommended his ex-wife’s attorney, not his own. (By the way, I’m not going to tell you who she is because frankly, I’m afraid of her!)
So I contacted the attorney, set up an appointment and when the day came I drove downtown to the 3 story brick office building that housed “The Firm”. I had been having a pretty bad week and was not in the best mental shape by the time I got into the office and I was ushered into a very small, very private waiting room. It was an odd room but I was told that this attorney had many high-profile clients and “discretion was of the utmost importance”. That of course made me feel pretty special until I then realized that special equaled $$$$$$$$$$.
So I sat in the little room, surrounded by books about divorce and parenting and I waited, and waited, and waited. Every once in a while I could overhear the secretary talking on the phone, then the attorney would come through the intercom and request something from her, then there would be silence until the attorney would request something else. The attorney’s voice was getting increasingly louder and more demanding as I listened until at one point I heard her door fly open and she was actually yelling at her secretary….I mean yelling! She was bitching her out, up one side and down the other and all of a sudden the door of the little room I was sitting in swung open and I know that my eyes popped out of my head as I stared up at this woman of at least 6 foot 6 inches and 250 pounds who was appologizing profusely at having made me wait…..it was a very scary site. And of course I was pissed at having to have waited for over half an hour but there was no way I was going to tell her that, no way! My response was more like “Oh no, that’s okay….I’m sorry to have upset you for waiting….”. The secretary was in tears, seriously, she was sobbing and I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell I was getting into.
The next 2 hours consisted of similar behavior by both of us. Me acting like a broken woman and her mentally and emotionally beating me up. At one point I was crying….and I swear I thought she was going to slap me, I SWEAR IT! I think that if she could have she would have. I kept wondering what the hell I was paying for, no one deserved that kind of ass kicking.
This went on for about an hour. She sat in a comfy chair opposite mine, shoes off with her skirt hiked up over her knees so that she could get her fat cankles tucked under her butt while her black tights screamed to be two sizes larger, lecturing me on a lesson in Narcicism (pointing to my future ex-husbands biggest flaw) she said to me “and I think you’re a Narcicist too.” “What?” I asked, through tears and sobs, “why would you say that?” and she responded “Because you called me. I work with celebrities and people with money and you had to have the biggest attorney in town because you think you’re so special. Guess what? You can’t afford me.”
That was the “epiphany” moment, the moment I knew I was right where I should be because every thread of my being was saying “I’ll show her!” and I really started listening to what she was saying. It was sales pitch, and a damn good one (I get that now). I began to wonder how many other people had come into her office meak as a mouse and had left there feeling truly empowered because God knew, I was one. I would show her, and my future ex-husband would fear for the wrath of this bitch!
The second hour was much different. She caused me to really think about the position that I was in and how to empower myself. She snapped me back into reality and helped build up my self-esteem that had been so torn down. As our meeting came to a close I plunked down the $10,000 retainer fee and I felt better then I had in weeks, and I felt better equipt to deal with the issues at home.
Not long after that I was passed down to a lesser known attorney at the firm and eventually I was passed down to an even lesser known attorney and I began to feel as though no one really gave a shit, they just wanted my money, and they got it. They got almost the entire $10,000 before I fired them and hired another more responsive attorney that finished out my divorce, to my satisfaction.
I will say that that experience taught me a tremendous amount. In all reality my entire divorce did wonders for me, it completely changed my life and it changed it for the better. There’s an old saying that is one of my favorites: “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, and I’m living proof of that. That divorce ended up costing me about $31,000 in the end but what I got out of it mentally and emotionally was priceless.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: birthday, Christianity, crazy, elderly, family, God, grandmother, guilt, Jesus, mother, religion
Hello my faithful friends, readers and curiosity freaks…..life’s good!
So I came home after a fun-filled and much deserved week long vacation with the family to find an e-mail in my inbox from CAM (Crazy Ass Mother……which is literally what my mother is). This was a surprise because CAM and I don’t communicate….or at least I don’t make it a habit to communicate with her cause SHE’s CRAZY (cue the cuckoo clock sound).
Anyway, long story short….I was pissed. I have spent hundreds, if not thousands of dollars trying to get over the fact that up until I was 14 I was raised by a raging alcoholic self-centered slut bitch (sorry for the fowl mouth but it is what it is). In fact, in the last 5 years I’ve been fairly successful at keeping her at bay (as you will read in her own words).
Let me set the stage for the e-mail rant that I received; and know that you will have the opportunity to read it in it’s entirety for that is how I have chosen to respond…..to share it with everyone I know, and a few that I don’t! My grandmother turned 90 this last July and CAM somehow positioned herself as the person responsible for setting up the party (consisting of mostly other elderly people and a small amount of family). My family, MFH, FD, FS and myself were the only people coming in from out of town (party in Tacoma, Washington). I was informed that the party was to take place on Sunday the 5th of July at 10am. In fact this was the message left on my cell phone by CAM:
SUGARY, FAKE TALK: “Hi Stacy it’s mom (which irritates me when she calls herself that), I wanted to let you know that Gramma’s party is going to be on Sunday July 5th at 10am. Now I know that it’s not a convenient time…….but I hope that you can make it.”
I know that you don’t know her but trust me when I tell you she did this on purpose! Why wouldn’t someone that wanted me and my family to be there ask me my opinion BEFORE making the reservations? She didn’t give a shit, that’s why.
Now, to really understand the family dynamic I would have to spend hours writing and I’m sure you would be bored beyond belief so I’ll spare you…..because I care 
Long story short, we didn’t go, it wasn’t convenient and frankly if I was being dead honest I didn’t want to be around CAM, at all.
So it’s a month later and I haven’t talked with my Grandmother since I sent her a beautiful bouquet of flowers on her birthday and instead I get the following e-mail from CAM:
“I really don’t know where to begin to say what needs to be said. Guess I’ll dive right in.
Your hurtfulness knows no bounds, but I’m thinking you know that. It’s a travesty that you have kept your children from their grandmother, from the fun and nurturing they’d have in relationship with me, for well over 5 years. Your bitterness towards me has now slopped over onto your grandmother, who has always loved you so much, and the kids’ great-grandmother, who celebrated a rare and precious event, her 90th birthday, without them. Since then, you’ve been intent on self-justification and accusations as reasons for not attending. Forget it. It’s over. I’m truly sad because your bitterness is only hurting you, and your family.
Stacy, no one is saved and secure in his or her eternal destiny by occupying a church pew, by saying “grace” before meals, by confirmation, baptism, church traditions, or membership. And if you’re not walking with the Lord, you are His enemy……in rebellion against God. Your hard-heartedness towards me is proof that you’re not saved, because you could not do what you’ve done for the past 5+ years if you were. It’s just not spiritually possible. But today, right now, you can cry out to Jesus to save you, and He will give you a brand-new heart, as the Bible says, “…a heart of flesh.”
You missed a wonderful celebration of Grandma’s birthday……90!!! And she’s totally “with it,” works the crosswords, drives very well, cares for her home and cats, etc….etc!!!! And most important of all, my mom and I enjoy one another, share love and fun, and just wish we had more time together. Now that’s the “fruit of the Spirit,” nothing that Mom or I have done, but totally the answer to prayer and the work of God. Not attending Grandma’s party was your loss. Sure, your grandmother was hurt, terribly hurt, and I’d have loved to see you all. But we had a great time, made memories, and shared great joy, all gifts from God. We were truly blessed.
I pray to God every day to save you, but first you must be broken, just like everybody else. I pray for that, because there is absolutely nothing more important than your salvation….nothing. Stacy, my precious daughter, I beg you to turn from your bitterness and unloving ways, repent of your sins, surrender your life to the One who loves you more than any person ever could. He’ll never let you down. And when you get that new heart, let’s get together and share the love God plants in the hearts of those who believe on the matchless name of the Savior, Jesus.
I love you. Mom”
And you wonder why it’s cost so much to work out my issues with this woman? She doesn’t even know what the word “saved” means! I like Kat’s response when I read her this e-mail. She said “tell her that you spoke with Jesus and he told you that she is bat-shit crazy and that you should stay away from her!”
That’s really what I wanted to say but I thought about it overnight and when I woke up I realized that was what CAM was hoping for, a response. And she would take any response. So I decided not to give her the satisfaction of a response at all (cue the evil laugh).
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: coach, custody, divorce, friends, law, mediation, real estate, therapy
Wow, it’s been way too long since my last post…..that means that either Summer is here, I’ve been too busy with work, or my life has been so boring that I have nothing to write about. The answer lies with the first 2 options, certainly my life has not been boring!
Not a week goes by that I don’t get a phone call from a friend or an acquaintance that wants to pick my brain about either divorce or child custody. It’s strange. Why me? Am I an expert simply for the fact that I’ve been through a divorce and have battled over parenting issues? Maybe; or maybe it’s that I’m the only person they know that has been through these most unpleasant of experiences. Either way, I’ve become a therapist, a mediator, a coach and there’s a strong possibility that one could argue that I’ve been practicing law without a licence! So the question is: Should I change careers (because I should start charging for my services) or should I continue in real estate where my income has greatly decreased while my work load and stress has significantly increased??
And if I were going to contemplate a career move, which career should I choose? I’m compassionate and sympathetic so a therapist would be a good move. However, I’m also motivational and enjoy helping others achieve their goals so coaching could be rewarding too. Many would say that I’m somewhat (highly) arguementative and stubborn so the law would be a good move and may possibly help out with the income issue. Any one of these choices would work however they would involve additional education and I’m not sure that I’m up for that, mentally or financially!
So this whole post is a little tongue and cheek but I’m curious to see what my readers (most of whom are my friends) think that I should do. And this seems like a perfectly good time for a survey so let me know what you think and in my next post I’m going to tell you a story of intrigue and terror, I promise!!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: candy, cigarettes, distress, economy, fear, help, kids, moral, Obama, parents, Realtor, stranger, teachers
Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents and teachers would tell you to never take candy from a stranger? I do! I was so afraid that if a stranger ever offered me candy I would be a goner. Rape, death, abduction….all of these things and more would happen if I ever took candy from a stranger. Parents and teachers are very effective at scaring the shit out of kids. The funny thing is that as we grow older we forget the rule, we get bold, grow our own opinions, secure our own thoughts and completely forget the rule that we should never take candy from a stranger.
And I can prove it. Take a look at our current economic situation, our economy is dieing a slow and painful death and in my humble opinion it’s because we all forgot the rule: Never, I mean NEVER take candy from a stranger! We have all done it and now we’re going to pay the price.
I’m a Realtor. Currently I’m dealing with what I like to call “The Three D’s”: Divorce, Distress, and Death. These are my clients, and it’s very “D”epressing…..although I have this blog to help me cope. Divorce and death are typically unavoidable but it’s the issue of distress that may help prove my earlier point.
MANY of my clients are in financial distress and are defaulting on their home loans. In most circumstances it’s due to the fact that they never should have been allowed to purchase the home in the first place. In other words, purchasing a home just because they could do it didn’t mean that they should have done it and now they and the rest of the American people are paying for it. See, what happened was that a stranger came up and offered them candy and they forgot the rule and they took the candy and now they must suffer!
So then along comes the federal government, like a white knight on a steed and it ”has a plan”, and it’s a good one. It’s been called “the Obama Plan”, “Help for Homeowners”, “ Hope for Homeowners”, you name it, it’s your government to the rescue. But like a Snickers bar being held out to an unsuspecting child, just as we begin to move forward the “help” (or candy) gets yanked back and we now find ourselves struggling to break free, or worse, fighting for our livelihood.
That’s what happened this week. It’s been only one month since this “plan” has been rolled out and within 2 days mortgage interest rates rose over an entire percentage point to over 6%, leaving thousands of homeowners that were hoping for assistance now unable to get it and worse yet, significantly reducing buying power for perspective borrowers of homes that so desperately need to be sold.
But back to the moral of the story. Although I digressed into something morbid and disturbing (the economics of our country) I would like to point out that there are many lessons that our children are being taught today that will hopefully stay with them (but I have serious doubts). The “Stranger Danger” issue has taken a back seat to the new danger of smoking, almost to the point of absurdity but I’m not complaining. My kids are so in fear of cigarettes that they won’t even go into a restaurant where it’s ok to smoke, seriously they would rather starve!
So in looking back over what I’ve just written and in taking into account that we as adults grew up and are doing the opposite of what we were taught as children I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised if someday FS or FD becomes the CEO of Phillip Morris?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dr. Laura, job, mom, mother, mother's day, parenthood, success, thankless, worth
When I first became a mother over 14 years ago I was working retail at the local mall. I was 23, young and obviously dumb. I was working with a unique group of women far more experienced than me, in fact three of them were already grandmothers. One of these women was very wise, in fact I pretty much worshipped her. Because I feel the need to keep her identity a secret we’ll call her Mary (as in the blessed saint, and she’s Jewish so that’s actually funny!).
Mary had 2 children, both boys. By the time she and I had started working together her sons were pretty close to my age and Mary shared with me her desire to be a grandmother. In fact, when I found out that I was pregnant it was Mary that gave me my first baby gift, a teddy bear (which I cherish to this day…..but have no idea where it is).
After my beautiful baby girl was born I spent 2 months at home caring for her and then it was time to return to work (not a Dr. Laura fan at the time). I shared with Mary that I was overwhelmed by the fact that FD was not a great sleeper, an amazingly loud screamer and hungry ALL OF THE TIME. In other words motherhood was not what I had expected. In sharing these disappointments with Mary I was hoping for grace, understanding, guidance and hope. This is what I got (and it’s stuck with me over the last 14 years):
”Honey,” Mary said “I once took my boys to the doctor and told their doctor that I wanted to send them back!”
“Send them back?” I asked, not knowing that was possible…..but still somewhat hopeful.
Then, very delicately she said “I told him that I hated my children and that I could not be their mother.”
“Hated your children??” I exclaimed. And without saying it out loud I wondered “Who could HATE their own child?”
Sensing my unease Mary looked at me and said “My doctor assured me that this was simply a “faze” but trust me, some day you’ll be there too; you’ll know exactly what I mean.”
That story has haunted me to this day. I love my children, but I don’t always likethem. In the grand scheme of things it could be a lot worse but at the same time I could understand what Mary’s message was.
Parenting is a choice; and mostly the hardest choices are the ones that are of the most benefit to our kids, but we don’t see that at the time because it’s so much easier to give in to what they want so that they will stop complaining, or asking or screaming! So here are the choices:
- Be complete suck-up parents and give them everything they want.
- Be the complete opposite and have them grow up to hate you and everything you’ve ever done.
- Find the happy medium and then get screwed because they still hate you for not letting them do EVERYTHING that they want.
In other words we’re screwed. Funny thing is that I’m okay with that. I love my kids, they’re not my friends. I don’t think that I truly earned the “friend” distinction with my dad until only a few years ago and I’m pushing 40!
Being a mother is the hardest job on the planet and although I hear a lot of stories of mothers that say that it’s the most rewarding job ever, I’m sceptical. Being a mom never made me money, never made me feel “successful” and certainly hasn’t earned me any awards. So where is the reward? Is this the mind of a mother with teenagers, too overloaded and stressed? Or is this the mind of a woman who had children and expected way more than what the world could and/or should deliver?
It doesn’t really matter either way. I am a mom, I have a job and I’m doing it…..and that’s what moms everywhere do every day. It’s thankless and (yes even on Mother’s Day) it’s just what we do. So why is Mother’s Day only one day out of the year? Is that all that we’re worth?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: credit, idiot, mistake, MLM, money, spending, toys
I was thinking earlier today about items and/or services that I have purchased over the years and in hindsight now realize how horribly mis-spent those purchases were. I thought that I would share a few of them with you, not with the hope that you won’t make a similar mistake but rather to share with you my total and complete idiocy.
- After my divorce and before meeting MFH I spent $1,500 on a dating service. This was a special service that promised to match me with other “professionals”. I went out on one set-up date, while I was promised 15. A week after that date I met MFH and was not entitled to a refund (read the contract).
- I once bought into a $2,000 + $200/month MLM online video system that was not only going to make me rich but was also going to help me with my business and add credibility to my e-mails, web presence, etc. I have never pulled the cameras out of the boxes and I have no idea how to use the system. I was able to stop the recurring charges to my credit card but the $2K was gone for good.
- Last year I promised my assistant that I would get a “contact management” system and decided to go with a company that EVERYBODY in my office was using. There was a one time set-up fee of about $300 and recurring monthly fees of about $200. While my assistant used it sporadically, I was never that fond of it and the training that was promised was a joke. When I went to tell the company that I wanted to cancel their service they told me that I had signed a one year contract, so I was basically screwed! I showed them though, I cancelled the credit card that they were charging!
- A very long time ago, BK (before kids) dumbass and I went into a gallery in Cannon Beach and bought a bronze sculpture for about $2400. It was a total splurge, totally stupid. During the divorce he claimed this piece of artwork and since I wasn’t up for the fight I let it go. Surprise, dumbass went broke pretty quickly and about a year later and I was asked if I would like to buy it from him. I forked over $1K to buy it back, I knew that would happen.
- Home parties+friends with money = crap no one needs.
- I worked for about 4 years in a high end jewelry store. Would you care to guess how much beautiful jewelry that I’ll never wear that I own? Don’t bother, it would shock and disappoint!
OK, this is depressing the hell out of me, but at least I can say that I’m pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson! I actually ended up marrying a man who is pretty finacially savvy and he has helped me see the error of my ways. Then again have you seen the toys in our garage?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AM Northwest, animals, bird, cat, dog, Easter, fish, kids, pets, rabbit, zoo
Three years ago something happened in my household that changed the kids and I forever……we got a new cat, her name is Gypsy. I’ll bet that you thought I was going to say that MFH came into our lives! Although that was also monumental and oddly enough also happened 3 years ago, that was not as pivotal as the addition of this animal.
It was Easter weekend and FS, FD and myself went down to my dad and HC’s for the holiday weekend. HC loves to paint and decorate Easter eggs, she’s and artist and very talented. When we arrived dad announced that there was a little surprise and took us to the back window to show us this extremely cute little white kitten. Immediately I knew that this kitten had not been placed in that spot purposefully since HC hates cats (hence the HC), dad on the other hand is a cat lover and explained that this cute little kitten had shown up out of nowhere a few days prior and that he had been feeding it and that he had gone to all of the neighbors (he lives in the boonies!) and that no one knew of a missing white kitten and that he knew we were coming and oh by the way, could WE give it a home? Are you kidding me………..
When the kids and I moved into our own home a few months prior to this we had what I like to refer to as a small urban zoo. We had a rabbit, a parakeet, a large German Sheppard dog, a cat and 9 Koi fish…..I feel like I’m leaving something out. You get the picture, we didn’t need another animal let alone another mouth to feed! As you may imagine I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of taking this kitten home. But then it happened. Dad threw open the sliding glass door and the kids were out like a shot and before I knew it, it was too late, instant love; and this kitten wouldn’t let them go. She climbed up the leg of their pants to get them to hold her, she purred louder than a full grown cat and I would have been more evil than the devil had I told the kids no……plus I kind of liked her myself.
So we brought her home and the rest is history, sort of. We’ve had several cats and since this one had been used to being outside and I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of getting another cat de-clawed (I do think it’s wrong but I also like my furniture) I decided that she would be an indoor/outdoor cat. While most neighborhood outdoor cats are not thought of very highly, this one is loved! Our neighbors tell us that she’ll spend the day on their patio, that she’s so friendly, that she eats the field mice (and they’re thankful), and they miss her in the winter when it’s cold and wet. She also talks to us when we talk to her and although she sheds all over everyone it’s hard not to want to pick her up and give her a squeeze. So we’ve become very attached to our Gypsy.
A couple of days ago I was watching AM Northwest and there was a nutball lady on their talking about how destructive cats (and domesticated animals in general) are to the environment and that we should make them all stay indoors. Her issue was with the fact that they eat birds…….hello????….and destroy natural habitats…..what?? I was yelling at the TV, this woman was a loon! Had she never heard of the circle of life….Darwin…..does she want the world to be over populated with birds and mice and moles?? Then it hit me, I was defending my cat. What had become of me? And I don’t really like birds at all, they deserve to get eaten by cats. Oh my, now I’ve lost it!
You get the picture. It’s amazing how pets can mold their people, it’s working! We no longer have the German Sheppard, I gave him to a good friend, the cat killed the parakeet (it got into the cage while we were out of town!), the rabbit died (it’s not what you think) and we sold the house that had the Koi pond. We’re down to only 2 cats, our urban zoo has dwindled. I used to think that MFH had something to do with this but now looking back I think that it must be that little white cat, after all her name is Gypsy, there’s mystery in her, and things started dying and disappearing when she came along…..weird.
Gypsy
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: appreciation, chores, family, humor, kids, spouse, surgery
This last week has been a true test of my family’s ability to “step up” and help out more around the house and with me in general. Since my elbow surgery on Friday the 3rd, I haven’t been able to do much around the house and have had very limited use of my right hand and arm. Even the simplest of tasks is a chore for me and I’m not used to being an invalid so I have been hopeful that the other members of my household would take on a few more tasks, willingly……but as you may guess that has not always been the case…..at least not the “willingly” part.
Rather than launch into a long diatribe of how disappointed I am I would prefer to make this post about some of the comedic observations that I’ve noted this last week. In an effort to boost my morale and offer something humorous to my readers here are a few noted items:
- Other members of my household have no problem sitting at a table that has not been wiped off after 3 or more uses. They also do not have a problem preparing food on a kitchen counter that hasn’t been wiped down for 4 days. This makes me cringe.
- It’s taken me about 5 days but I am an ace at brushing my teeth with my left hand. If you haven’t tried brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t usually use I would challenge you to try it. It’s not easy at first.
- Washing hair and body with one hand is next to impossible. Having a spouse do it is more fun for them than for you, trust me.
- Teenage daughters do not like to be asked to help mom hook her bra, but they do like doing mom’s hair!
- It is possible to apply deodorant to the armpit connected to the arm, connected to the hand of the same arm. It’s not a pretty look ( a bit monkey-like) but it works.
- It’s a bit embarrassing going to dinner and asking someone to cut your meat. It’s even more embarrassing to try to eat the meat uncut.
- It takes three to four times as long to write down a phone number with my left hand. As a side note I understand that I’m challenging my brain, so that’s good!
- Tweenage boys get a lot of entertainment value out of seeing how close I can come to touching my nose and/or hair with my bad hand/arm, but encouragement is everything “go, go, go, go, go mom, you can do it!”
So this last week has made me learn to appreciate my right arm…..that sounds really weird but I think that you get the picture. I’m not sure that my family has learned to appreciate me at all. The laundry is overflowing, the floors need vacuuming and dust bunnies are making homes in every corner of the living room (I know this because my daughter pointed it out, and laughed). I’ll be the last one laughing though, the kid’s chore board is filled today, they’ll be up till midnight!
