Liar, Liar
……..you’re pants are on fire!
When is lying okay? Is it okay to lie when your friend got a really bad haircut and wants to know what you think about it? Maybe. Is it okay to lie when a police officer pulls you over for speeding and (if you’re a woman) you start to cry (even better if you’re a man) and give him some sob story about how your family member is dieing and you’re on your way to see them for the last time?? It works, I know this for a fact! Is it okay to lie to your ex-wife, a.k.a the mother and sole custodial parent of your children and ask your children to lie to their mother in an effort to thwart your financial responsibility and obligation to your children……NEVER. Guess where this is going…….
It is not okay to ask your children to lie for you, period. This was the conversation that I unfortunately had to have with FD & FS last Sunday evening after they had spent the week with the sperm donor they call dad. AND, I know that he asked them to lie because when I told them that I believed that to be the case, they never objected. The sad part is that they are admittedly embarrassed by him and his behavior and they cover for him because he continues to play the role of victim……..and he is apparently pretty good at it given the fact that he is sponging off of friends to give him a job and a place to live.
But getting back to the lying part: when is it okay to lie? Here is when (in my humble opinion) it IS okay:
- Q:”Does this dress/shirt/jeans/belt make me look fat?” A:”How could anything make you look fat?”
- Q:”So what do you really think of my mother/father/kids/friends?” A:”I like them….really!”
- Q:”Do you like this meal that I lovingly made for you?” A:”Yes, it’s delicious!”
- Q:”Did you just remember today that it’s my birthday/our anniversary?” A: “No honey, I’ve known for weeks!”
- Q:”Mommy, do you like the picture I made for you?” A:”It’s beautiful, you’re the next VanGogh!”
Obviously the answers to the above questions could be lies but in an effort to not hurt the feelings of your friend, spouse, significant other or anyone you truly care about, you sometimes lie. Those are lies that I think are okay, but that’s just me. AND, I personally appreciate it when I ask some of these questions and receive a “white” lie in response!
Now, getting caught lying is a whole new story, and lying to your parents is a breech of the 4th commandment (I think I got the number right). So here’s my Mastercard moment:
Pastoral counseling to help teach the children about the commandments and why we don’t lie: $20 (by donation)
Filing for contempt of court charges: $253
Finding out where Dumbass works and turning the information into the DOJ so that they can garnish his wages beginning with his first paycheck: PRICELESS!
………..and that ain’t no lie!
Follow Up to “One Bad Mother”
Last night was not my proudest moment but I suppose that if the story made even one parent stop and think about reminding their kids not to answer the door to a stranger then I guess, in a weird way that I did something good for society. Who cares that it made me look like an idiot, right?! Okay, so I took one for the team!
(Hint: Click on the highlighted “Story” in the paragraph to see the “Stranger Danger” story)
One Bad Mother
OK, maybe I’m the crazy one after all!!?? News channel 12 is coming over in one hour to test my children and I may have to turn in my “Mother of the Year” award because of it.
My friend Katie asked me to help her out. She’s a news writer for our local Fox affiliate and they are planning a show for the evening news for next month’s “sweeps week”. The idea is this: 1. No adults at home (I’ll be waiting down the street) 2. Have one of the guys from the studio come to the door of the home, ring the doorbell 3. See if the kids answer the door 4. Lesson learned: either I’m a good parent and the kids refuse to answer the door OR I’m doing a horrible job, they answer the door, admit that I’m gone then the news crew interviews me about what a horrible mother I am!!!! AARRGGHHH!
I’m having 2nd thoughts. Maybe in an effort to look like a good parent I should warn them about the impending “trickery”? OR maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s them and they should be grounded for answering the door when I’ve told them several times not to!! OR maybe it will teach them a lesson and scare them just enough that they’ll never do it again??!!
OR, maybe they will NOT answer the door and I will get to keep my “Mother of the Year” award………..we shall see.
