Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: curfew, daughter, high school, lock, note, sleep, sneak out, Teen, teenager
Well it’s been a while since I’ve had any time to post something quirky and fun to read. After all, amusing my followers and friends is the ultimate goal of this blogger. The events that took place in the early hours of this day are worthy of my time, effort and what little energy I have left so I hope that you are once again able to find the humor in my life’s stories.
I’ll begin by explaining that there is no school today. It’s Thursday; today and tomorrow the high school has conferences. Yesterday evening FD attended an event at the school and then went out with a friend for a couple of hours. I told her to be home by midnight (which I thought was a generous curfew). When she arrived home she knocked on my bedroom door to let me know that she was home safe and sound (as she always does…..she’s good that way).
It was at about 2am that I woke up and something just didn’t feel right with me. I don’t always sleep well but for the prior 3 nights I had slept like a rock and immediately I was upset that my streak was over. As I laid in bed, facing the bedroom door I saw light and realized that the porch lights had been left on. I specifically told FD to shut them off when she got home. So I slowly got out of bed and headed out the door toward the front door…..cursing along the way. As I got closer I realized that not only had the lights been left on but the front door was unlocked too…..which was odd because I have a strict “lock-the-door-so-we’re-not-all-murdered-in-our-sleep” rule, and FD knows this.
Needless to say I wanted to make sure that FD was alive so down the stairs I went, to check on my precious gift, my daughter. Oddly enough I also found the back door downstairs unlocked….this was another penalty and now I was really not happy. After securing that door I made it down the hall and I peered in through the crack of her bedroom door, there she was quietly laying in her bed…..albeit a little toooooo quietly; so I gently pushed open the door so as not to wake the sleeping princess but just enough so that I could confirm that she was breathing. The cat was contently curled up beside what appeared to be the sleeping beauty and as I reached over to give her a scratch behind the ears I realized that my already skinny daughter appeared to have gotten much skinnier……and was missing her head.
It’s a REALLY bad feeling when you realize that your child isn’t where you expected them to be. I had been dreading this day and somehow knew it would come. Let’s not kid ourselves, most (if not all) of you reading this snuck out at least once if not multiple times as a teenager so to say that I didn’t see this coming would be an epic lie. What I didn’t expect was that FD would be so blatant and almost polite about it.
When I pulled back the comforter to reveal the mass of blankets, clothing, a hat and even a Barbie doll (which was placed on the pillow and had its blond hair sticking out from under the covers…..totally unbelievable, yet she gets an “A” for effort), I was also shocked to find a note. That’s right. In the event that she was discovered she actually took the time to write me a note and here’s what it said:
“Mom/D- If you find this note you have obviously realized I’m gone. No, I did not run away. Don’t call the cops. I’ll be back by 3. I’m a teen, sorry. Love you both- FD” (not really, it had her name).
What a polite young lady. There were so many positive aspects of this note, the mere fact that she left it for me signaled that she cared enough to at least ATTEMPT to lessen her mother’s concern. In addition, she gave herself a curfew….and an explanation, she is after all a “teen” and that is apparently a valid excuse that covers this violation of trust. Who knew!?
When I was a teen and would make idiotic mistakes I recall my father responding as calmly as possible, although his punishments dealt a harsh blow I found I could not argue with the calm silent treatment and it was almost worse than the option of being yelled at and lectured. Once I got over my shock and initial anger, I shared FD’s note with MFH. We both felt that her note was quite genius and decided that the best way to respond would be to leave her a note as well. So I penned:
“Dear FD, If you’ve found this note you obviously realize that you’re grounded. Gramma Jo is so looking forward to spending the week with you while your brother, MFH and I are enjoying the beaches of Hawaii in a few weeks. Do not call your friends, you will not have a phone. Love, Mom and D.
P.S. We’re parents, this is what we do.”
Since I had secured the back door I figured that FD would come through the front so I carefully taped this note to the front door, turned the porch lights back on, left the door unlocked for her eventual return and went calmly back to bed (with no intention of falling asleep). To her credit she returned at exactly 3am and of course she got my note.
I will leave the rest of the night to your imagination. It included excuses, tears, breathalizer etc. Needless to say I have a house slave for a while. Oh, and that reminds me…..with all of this time on her hands she will be able to clean, babysit and do whatever mundane chores my friends may need done also. So please call me if her services are needed in your home…..and pray for me!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Couples Negril, daughter, domain, Godaddy, hostage, perfect, police, Sherwood, weapons, wife
No, I’m not dead, I’ve been very busy.
Godaddy just called and wanted to renew my domain name for this blog and since I love the name so much (my brother thinks it invites potential porn seekers however) I thought that I would kick off the new subscription with a new post…..you lucky reader you!
MFH (who is celebrating 43 wonderful years on our planet today) and I just returned from an 8 night stay in Jamaica. To say the least, it was amazing, fabulous, perfect, and every other adjective that could be used to describe the best vacation ever. So great was this vacation that upon leaving the resort I cried like a baby and vowed through those tears that I would return….and return soon! (I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that this trip took place at Couples Negril and if you don’t ever get the chance to spend time on this island your life will not be complete!)
So with that said, we returned home 4 days ago which means that we’re still on Jamaican time and are having a hard time settling back into work and back into the role of parents. But then again, life happens and with the understanding that we’ll return to the island someday soon, we can plug along in our mundane existence until that time 
So now that we’re all relaxed and rejuvenated, imagine my surprise when I learned that there was a police incident taking place yesterday evening in my very own neighborhood. Not that a police incident should be all that surprising however the nature of it was. A 58 year old man was holding his wife and daughter hostage in their home. He supposedly had weapons or firearms and was suicidal and by all accounts he was going to take his family down with him. The neighbors were evacuated, the place was chaos and it was sad and pathetic to say the least.
By 10 o’clock last night it was reported that the incident had been resolved and that the man was removed from the home and all parties were safe, thank God. The reporter on the scene detailed the account of the past 5 hours while I watched shaking my head wondering what in the name of God’s green earth could have set this guy off…..I mean, who does that sort of thing??
And then it came, the answer came straight from the reporters lips. Apparently when the man was being removed from the home and reporters were hurling questions at him he responded that he “had a bad day.” What? He had a bad day? How bad do your coping skills have to be to hold your family hostage, threaten to kill them and yourself and cause an entire neighborhood to panic?? My guess is that they’re pretty bad…..like off the charts, mental hospital bad.
That guy needs a vacation; and if not him then I think that a judge should sentence him to provide all of his neighbors with a nice getaway vacation for their trouble. Oh brother, what would the world be like if “I had a bad day” was a valid defense? I will grant him this however he did accept responsibility for his actions, something that is rare these days! And for that I say: No worries mon!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: care, Chuck E. Cheese, daughter, doctors, drugs, funny, girls, horses, injury, kids, laughter, mother, nurses, surgery
I am a complete mess! I’m typing with my left hand only and my brain is going much faster than my hand can work and it’s making me nuts!!
Yesterday I had surgery on my right arm/elbow to repair a torn tendon. The injury occurred last July when i fell off of a horse, but on the advice of my primary care doctor (who diagnosed me with tennis elbow) I suffered through therapy and a shot. When the shot wore off I bypassed my doctor and went directly to a specialist who gave me a proper diagnosis and wa-la, I have a 70-90% chance that I’ll be all better, eventually.
But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about my FD. How could this have anything to do with FD you ask? Well, my biggest fear with this surgery was I had to go under anesthesia and that reminded of the time that FD got her adenoids removed.
She was only 5 years old and had been having chronic ear infections since she was 2 months old. After years of antibiotics I reached a boiling point, insisting that her pediatrician send her to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. He did and it was determined that the tonsils were fine but the adenoids had to go and she would be fitted with tubes to help her ear drums drain. This is a pretty standard procedure so we weren’t too worried, just happy that she would find relief!
The day of the surgery we arrived at the hospital. Both of my kids are pretty brave but FD is the most stoic, she wasn’t worried at all. The nurses were wonderful and took us both to the day surgerical prep room so that I could help her get into her gown. I kept assuring her that she would be fine and she kept telling ME that I had nothing to worry about and that she was fine. I reminded her again about our “deal’…..when she was all better I would take her to see the Italian rodent (aka: Chuck E. Cheese).
After she was prepped the nurse brought in a little shot glass of pink juice (happy medicine) and asked me to get her to drink it all down. I was told that this medicine was to help her “relax”, I didn’t know that she was getting high before my very eyes until she mentioned “Mommy, you have three heads”. “Really?” I responded, “and how many fingers am I holding up?” As I showed only one she responded that there were three! I began to chuckle which made her chuckle which made me laugh which made her laugh which made me cry and made her stop and say “wasso funnnnyyy?” which made me split my side open!
At this point the surgical nurse arrived and saw tears streaming down my face. She was so calm and caring when she tried to comfort what she thought was a mother in fear for her child’s life. She tried to tell me that “everything will be alright. This is a routine procedure and we’ll take very good care of your daughter.” As you can imagine this only made me laugh harder, which the nurse mistook for sobbing wails. I could hardly catch my breath enough to tell her that I was in hysterics because FD was higher than a kite and I hadn’t expected that at all! The nurse was not amused by this (apparently they come into contact with more crying parents than laughing) and she whisked my daughter away for her surgery.
She did great that morning! She was only in surgery for about an hour and when they came to the waiting room to bring me to see her the nurses were gushing about how great she was. they told me that most children wake up frightened but not FD, she woke up and announced “Now I get to go to Chuck E. Cheese!” The nurses were pretty impressed by that.
So I’m not going to Chuck E. Cheese anytime soon and it will be awhile before I go riding again….I think I like having the use of my right arm more than I like horses! When FD came home from school yesterday to see me laying in bed with my arm immobile and wrapped with a brace she was glad to see that I was OKand helped me get pillows to prop it up with. She’s 14 now and the tables have turned; I may need her more than she needs me or perhaps we’re even now. Either way we enjoy sharing funny memories like this one and I enjoy watching her grow into an amazing young woman!
