Happy Halloween!
This is typically one of my favorite days of the year, and for it to wind up on a Friday…..well that my friends is a bonus. One small problem has emerged however…….I have nothing to wear! OK, two small problems, I still don’t have pumpkins; another great “mother of the year award” moment for me. I hope the local grocery store still has some in stock.
So I’ve gone over the litany of choices in my closet and here’s what I can be for Halloween this year:
- Duck Fan (that would be fan of the Oregon Duck’s).
- Prom Queen….no wait I loaned that dress to my friend so that she and her boyfriend could go as an 80’s couple. Scratch that one.
- A Hooker…..there’s some insight as to what it’s MY closet.
- A Bag Lady……more insight.
- A Runner……hey, those sweats still have the price tags on them!
- A Nun
That’s right, a nun costume hangs in my closet. I’ve worn it for the last two years and now it looks like I may have to dust it off in an effort to look like I put some thought into my costume for this year’s party. I suppose I could spice it up a bit……maybe go as a pregnant nun, or a half dead nun, or even wear something really inappropriate underneath and go as a slutty nun but in all reality, I’m concerned for my salvation should I continue to mock the nuns and really piss off God! I don’t want to go to hell after all.
What kind of a Halloween costume is a nuns habit anyway? What is Halloween all about? I’ve educated myself on this question and here’s what I found out: Halloween began as a Celtic (Irish) tradition started by the Druids who believed that the spirits of the dead could come out one day a year. I’m not going to go into details about how it came to be the day that it is today because the fact that it grew out of Ireland, a country that has had a Protestant/Catholic war of sorts going on for many years stopped me in my tracks!
I’ve heard all kinds of stories about the nuns in private schools. Bill O’Reilly is always talking about the nuns, and sometimes it’s nice but other times he’s talking about how mean they can be. AND if they can be mean, then maybe, just maybe me wearing a nun costume is SCARY and in a strange way….appropriate!!??! After all, there are a lot of Catholics in Ireland, the birthplace of Halloween, and it’s a proven fact that nuns can be scary.
That settles it, I’ll be a nun……..again!
Is it getting hot in here?
My BFF J and I along with our hubbies went to a party last Saturday night. It was a house warming party with a Fall/Halloween theme. The invitation (an e-vite….which I love!) was simple yet elegant and inviting. We were all looking forward to celebrating our friends’ new home.
BFF J is ALWAYS on time, so naturally we were the first people to show up at the party. The house was very cute, the food was very yummy, and the drinks were flowing very freely. After about an hour and a half there was quite a nice sized group that had gathered in the kitchen and family room area…..which is away from the front door and out of view of the entryway. BFF J had gone into the front room to check out the food but was distracted when the she heard a knock at the door. Always helpful, BFF J answered it and was startled to see a couple standing before her in full Halloween costume glory!! Painted faces, costumes, the works!
“Are you sure you’re at the right house?” BFF J asks.
Now, since we were out of sight range there were no witnesses to this but according to BFF J the lady (we think her costume was that of a butcher gone psycho), turns to the man and says “I thought you said this was a costume party?!” She states this with what can only be described as a “death stare”. Then she turns back and says to BFF J “Please don’t laugh at us.” What else can you do?
BFF J keeps her composure and as the hostess of the party walks in to greet the guests they are silently ushered into the back bedroom where they can toss their costumes, wash off the make-up, and join the rest of the party as though nothing happened. That would have been the end of it except for the fact that BFF J came into the kitchen and shared this precious story with ME! AND, by this time I had enjoyed a couple of gin and tonics. Need I say more……I about wet my pants with laughter! The rest of the guests wanted to know what was so funny, and by the time the costume couple joined the party they would have been better off still wearing their costumes!!
So since this little episode I have come up with several options to be used in the event that you find yourself in this same predicament. Here is what you might consider saying when you find that you’re the only one wearing a costume at a non-costume party:
- Easy out: “We just came from another party and costumes were required!” (you could also say that you’re attending a party afterward and that’s your excuse to leave if the party is a bomb)
- To the hostess: “You look great as a witch…..nice nose!”
- When asked: “What costumes? We dress like this every day!”
- To a guest: “Where’s your costume? Didn’t you get the same invitation we did?”
- To anyone: “I dressed in costume to ensure my supply of candy…Trick or Treat?”
Obviously the unsuspecting couple had no time to think of these ideas but that’s ok. After joining the party the husband came over and hugged BFF J to say hello and thanks. As it turned out, he was the brother of the hostess and he knew my friend. As he pulled away he accidentally exacted his revenge……turns out he didn’t quite get all of the black face paint out of his beard and he left a nice big splotch of it on the shoulder of her cream colored sweater. I once again found myself in hysterics and I’m still laughing about that today!
HAPPY PARTYING!!
