Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: candy, cigarettes, distress, economy, fear, help, kids, moral, Obama, parents, Realtor, stranger, teachers
Do you remember when you were a kid and your parents and teachers would tell you to never take candy from a stranger? I do! I was so afraid that if a stranger ever offered me candy I would be a goner. Rape, death, abduction….all of these things and more would happen if I ever took candy from a stranger. Parents and teachers are very effective at scaring the shit out of kids. The funny thing is that as we grow older we forget the rule, we get bold, grow our own opinions, secure our own thoughts and completely forget the rule that we should never take candy from a stranger.
And I can prove it. Take a look at our current economic situation, our economy is dieing a slow and painful death and in my humble opinion it’s because we all forgot the rule: Never, I mean NEVER take candy from a stranger! We have all done it and now we’re going to pay the price.
I’m a Realtor. Currently I’m dealing with what I like to call “The Three D’s”: Divorce, Distress, and Death. These are my clients, and it’s very “D”epressing…..although I have this blog to help me cope. Divorce and death are typically unavoidable but it’s the issue of distress that may help prove my earlier point.
MANY of my clients are in financial distress and are defaulting on their home loans. In most circumstances it’s due to the fact that they never should have been allowed to purchase the home in the first place. In other words, purchasing a home just because they could do it didn’t mean that they should have done it and now they and the rest of the American people are paying for it. See, what happened was that a stranger came up and offered them candy and they forgot the rule and they took the candy and now they must suffer!
So then along comes the federal government, like a white knight on a steed and it ”has a plan”, and it’s a good one. It’s been called “the Obama Plan”, “Help for Homeowners”, “ Hope for Homeowners”, you name it, it’s your government to the rescue. But like a Snickers bar being held out to an unsuspecting child, just as we begin to move forward the “help” (or candy) gets yanked back and we now find ourselves struggling to break free, or worse, fighting for our livelihood.
That’s what happened this week. It’s been only one month since this “plan” has been rolled out and within 2 days mortgage interest rates rose over an entire percentage point to over 6%, leaving thousands of homeowners that were hoping for assistance now unable to get it and worse yet, significantly reducing buying power for perspective borrowers of homes that so desperately need to be sold.
But back to the moral of the story. Although I digressed into something morbid and disturbing (the economics of our country) I would like to point out that there are many lessons that our children are being taught today that will hopefully stay with them (but I have serious doubts). The “Stranger Danger” issue has taken a back seat to the new danger of smoking, almost to the point of absurdity but I’m not complaining. My kids are so in fear of cigarettes that they won’t even go into a restaurant where it’s ok to smoke, seriously they would rather starve!
So in looking back over what I’ve just written and in taking into account that we as adults grew up and are doing the opposite of what we were taught as children I suppose that I shouldn’t be surprised if someday FS or FD becomes the CEO of Phillip Morris?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: AM Northwest, animals, bird, cat, dog, Easter, fish, kids, pets, rabbit, zoo
Three years ago something happened in my household that changed the kids and I forever……we got a new cat, her name is Gypsy. I’ll bet that you thought I was going to say that MFH came into our lives! Although that was also monumental and oddly enough also happened 3 years ago, that was not as pivotal as the addition of this animal.
It was Easter weekend and FS, FD and myself went down to my dad and HC’s for the holiday weekend. HC loves to paint and decorate Easter eggs, she’s and artist and very talented. When we arrived dad announced that there was a little surprise and took us to the back window to show us this extremely cute little white kitten. Immediately I knew that this kitten had not been placed in that spot purposefully since HC hates cats (hence the HC), dad on the other hand is a cat lover and explained that this cute little kitten had shown up out of nowhere a few days prior and that he had been feeding it and that he had gone to all of the neighbors (he lives in the boonies!) and that no one knew of a missing white kitten and that he knew we were coming and oh by the way, could WE give it a home? Are you kidding me………..
When the kids and I moved into our own home a few months prior to this we had what I like to refer to as a small urban zoo. We had a rabbit, a parakeet, a large German Sheppard dog, a cat and 9 Koi fish…..I feel like I’m leaving something out. You get the picture, we didn’t need another animal let alone another mouth to feed! As you may imagine I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of taking this kitten home. But then it happened. Dad threw open the sliding glass door and the kids were out like a shot and before I knew it, it was too late, instant love; and this kitten wouldn’t let them go. She climbed up the leg of their pants to get them to hold her, she purred louder than a full grown cat and I would have been more evil than the devil had I told the kids no……plus I kind of liked her myself.
So we brought her home and the rest is history, sort of. We’ve had several cats and since this one had been used to being outside and I wasn’t thrilled at the idea of getting another cat de-clawed (I do think it’s wrong but I also like my furniture) I decided that she would be an indoor/outdoor cat. While most neighborhood outdoor cats are not thought of very highly, this one is loved! Our neighbors tell us that she’ll spend the day on their patio, that she’s so friendly, that she eats the field mice (and they’re thankful), and they miss her in the winter when it’s cold and wet. She also talks to us when we talk to her and although she sheds all over everyone it’s hard not to want to pick her up and give her a squeeze. So we’ve become very attached to our Gypsy.
A couple of days ago I was watching AM Northwest and there was a nutball lady on their talking about how destructive cats (and domesticated animals in general) are to the environment and that we should make them all stay indoors. Her issue was with the fact that they eat birds…….hello????….and destroy natural habitats…..what?? I was yelling at the TV, this woman was a loon! Had she never heard of the circle of life….Darwin…..does she want the world to be over populated with birds and mice and moles?? Then it hit me, I was defending my cat. What had become of me? And I don’t really like birds at all, they deserve to get eaten by cats. Oh my, now I’ve lost it!
You get the picture. It’s amazing how pets can mold their people, it’s working! We no longer have the German Sheppard, I gave him to a good friend, the cat killed the parakeet (it got into the cage while we were out of town!), the rabbit died (it’s not what you think) and we sold the house that had the Koi pond. We’re down to only 2 cats, our urban zoo has dwindled. I used to think that MFH had something to do with this but now looking back I think that it must be that little white cat, after all her name is Gypsy, there’s mystery in her, and things started dying and disappearing when she came along…..weird.
Gypsy
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: appreciation, chores, family, humor, kids, spouse, surgery
This last week has been a true test of my family’s ability to “step up” and help out more around the house and with me in general. Since my elbow surgery on Friday the 3rd, I haven’t been able to do much around the house and have had very limited use of my right hand and arm. Even the simplest of tasks is a chore for me and I’m not used to being an invalid so I have been hopeful that the other members of my household would take on a few more tasks, willingly……but as you may guess that has not always been the case…..at least not the “willingly” part.
Rather than launch into a long diatribe of how disappointed I am I would prefer to make this post about some of the comedic observations that I’ve noted this last week. In an effort to boost my morale and offer something humorous to my readers here are a few noted items:
- Other members of my household have no problem sitting at a table that has not been wiped off after 3 or more uses. They also do not have a problem preparing food on a kitchen counter that hasn’t been wiped down for 4 days. This makes me cringe.
- It’s taken me about 5 days but I am an ace at brushing my teeth with my left hand. If you haven’t tried brushing your teeth with the hand that you don’t usually use I would challenge you to try it. It’s not easy at first.
- Washing hair and body with one hand is next to impossible. Having a spouse do it is more fun for them than for you, trust me.
- Teenage daughters do not like to be asked to help mom hook her bra, but they do like doing mom’s hair!
- It is possible to apply deodorant to the armpit connected to the arm, connected to the hand of the same arm. It’s not a pretty look ( a bit monkey-like) but it works.
- It’s a bit embarrassing going to dinner and asking someone to cut your meat. It’s even more embarrassing to try to eat the meat uncut.
- It takes three to four times as long to write down a phone number with my left hand. As a side note I understand that I’m challenging my brain, so that’s good!
- Tweenage boys get a lot of entertainment value out of seeing how close I can come to touching my nose and/or hair with my bad hand/arm, but encouragement is everything “go, go, go, go, go mom, you can do it!”
So this last week has made me learn to appreciate my right arm…..that sounds really weird but I think that you get the picture. I’m not sure that my family has learned to appreciate me at all. The laundry is overflowing, the floors need vacuuming and dust bunnies are making homes in every corner of the living room (I know this because my daughter pointed it out, and laughed). I’ll be the last one laughing though, the kid’s chore board is filled today, they’ll be up till midnight!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: care, Chuck E. Cheese, daughter, doctors, drugs, funny, girls, horses, injury, kids, laughter, mother, nurses, surgery
I am a complete mess! I’m typing with my left hand only and my brain is going much faster than my hand can work and it’s making me nuts!!
Yesterday I had surgery on my right arm/elbow to repair a torn tendon. The injury occurred last July when i fell off of a horse, but on the advice of my primary care doctor (who diagnosed me with tennis elbow) I suffered through therapy and a shot. When the shot wore off I bypassed my doctor and went directly to a specialist who gave me a proper diagnosis and wa-la, I have a 70-90% chance that I’ll be all better, eventually.
But that’s not what this post is about. This post is about my FD. How could this have anything to do with FD you ask? Well, my biggest fear with this surgery was I had to go under anesthesia and that reminded of the time that FD got her adenoids removed.
She was only 5 years old and had been having chronic ear infections since she was 2 months old. After years of antibiotics I reached a boiling point, insisting that her pediatrician send her to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. He did and it was determined that the tonsils were fine but the adenoids had to go and she would be fitted with tubes to help her ear drums drain. This is a pretty standard procedure so we weren’t too worried, just happy that she would find relief!
The day of the surgery we arrived at the hospital. Both of my kids are pretty brave but FD is the most stoic, she wasn’t worried at all. The nurses were wonderful and took us both to the day surgerical prep room so that I could help her get into her gown. I kept assuring her that she would be fine and she kept telling ME that I had nothing to worry about and that she was fine. I reminded her again about our “deal’…..when she was all better I would take her to see the Italian rodent (aka: Chuck E. Cheese).
After she was prepped the nurse brought in a little shot glass of pink juice (happy medicine) and asked me to get her to drink it all down. I was told that this medicine was to help her “relax”, I didn’t know that she was getting high before my very eyes until she mentioned “Mommy, you have three heads”. “Really?” I responded, “and how many fingers am I holding up?” As I showed only one she responded that there were three! I began to chuckle which made her chuckle which made me laugh which made her laugh which made me cry and made her stop and say “wasso funnnnyyy?” which made me split my side open!
At this point the surgical nurse arrived and saw tears streaming down my face. She was so calm and caring when she tried to comfort what she thought was a mother in fear for her child’s life. She tried to tell me that “everything will be alright. This is a routine procedure and we’ll take very good care of your daughter.” As you can imagine this only made me laugh harder, which the nurse mistook for sobbing wails. I could hardly catch my breath enough to tell her that I was in hysterics because FD was higher than a kite and I hadn’t expected that at all! The nurse was not amused by this (apparently they come into contact with more crying parents than laughing) and she whisked my daughter away for her surgery.
She did great that morning! She was only in surgery for about an hour and when they came to the waiting room to bring me to see her the nurses were gushing about how great she was. they told me that most children wake up frightened but not FD, she woke up and announced “Now I get to go to Chuck E. Cheese!” The nurses were pretty impressed by that.
So I’m not going to Chuck E. Cheese anytime soon and it will be awhile before I go riding again….I think I like having the use of my right arm more than I like horses! When FD came home from school yesterday to see me laying in bed with my arm immobile and wrapped with a brace she was glad to see that I was OKand helped me get pillows to prop it up with. She’s 14 now and the tables have turned; I may need her more than she needs me or perhaps we’re even now. Either way we enjoy sharing funny memories like this one and I enjoy watching her grow into an amazing young woman!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bike, bruise, clumsy, fall, funny, humor, hurt, husband, Jupiter, kids, lazy, trash, Uranus
Last Friday morning I took a pretty bad fall……because I’m klutzy and that’s what I do!
I had just returned from my early morning walk and noticed that FS never took the trash out to the curb the night before. This is his chore, every Thursday, and he knows this, but he’s lazy! It was still pretty dark out and I wasn’t paying attention as I backed out the trash can and as I was backing up I tripped over FS’s bike which was lying on the driveway, which isn’t suppose to be lying on the driveway, which he knows, but he’s lazy!! Strike 2.
As I began to go down I attempted to steady myself with the trash can which was a really stupid idea because it has wheels and that really only proved to make matters worse bacause it ended up coming down with me and landed on top of me, with me landing on top of the bike.
I have failed to mention what type of bike I’m talking about. This bike is a dirt bike, it has pegs coming out of the middle of the wheels, one on each side (just like the pegs on the bike that Napoleon Dynamite had on his bike when Pedro rode the pegs, remember?). These are very strong steel pegs that stick out about 4 inches off of the wheel and when the bike is on the ground, on it’s side, as it was when I fell on it……..well you can imagine where I landed.
Now had I landed about 4 inches further to the right I would have created a new oraface with which to crap out of (sorry to be so crass) but in this case I managed to land my left butt cheek squarely on that peg and I cannot begin to tell you the pain that ran through my ass at that moment.
I laid in that position for about a minute. Me on top of the bike with the trash can on top of me…..this surely was not a good look. I was halfway hoping that someone would come along and help me up and then again I was halfway hoping that no one saw the whole fiasco, although if they had I probably would have to help them off the ground because they would be there writhing in pain from the laughter!
It didn’t take long for the color to appear. When I was finally able to crawl my sandwiched ass out of that mess I came into the house to look at my butt. MFH heard me cursing a blue streak all the way to the bathroom and followed me in to see what had happened. As I removed my sweatpants I saw that the bruise had already formed and it wasn’t going to be pretty. By day 2 I announced to MFH that my bruise was the “color and size of Jupiter” to which he replied “No honey, it’s more like Uranus”…….he thinks he’s funny.
Long story short, FS gets no allowance because he failed to do his chore and care for his bike and MFH now has a bruise just like mine, from where I kicked him after the “Uranus” crack! (not really, he doesn’t bruise as easily as me)
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bubble, college, divorce, dreams, gossip, kids, military, police, small town
Someone wise and smart once noted: “The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you’re doing, someone else always does.” Amen. I live in what was once considered a small town but although it’s grown substantially since I moved here 15 years ago, it has still managed to maintain a small town mentality and identity. That has it’s pluses and it’s negatives as you might imagine!
A few of the plusses include knowing where the kids are most of the time and what they’re up to, knowing enough people around town to always be in the know about local businesses, knowing the local police officers (that can be a negative too!), and finding out who’s doing what (a.k.a. gossip).
The kids really can’t get away with much around here. I find out from other moms when my son’s been in trouble on the bus and I hear about who his latest “girlfriend” is (if you can call them that at 12). When they tell me they’re going to be someplace it’s easy to run into them out and about…..it’s a small town and they generally have to walk or bike wherever they go. I think that it’s pretty safe and I know that we’re very lucky to live in this sheltered bubble. But then again I worry because I know that the real world outside of our bubble isn’t that safe and isn’t so pretty. That’s okay, college will straighten them out…..or better yet, the military.
Now, on to the negatives of living in a small town where everyone knows your buisness. This one’s my favorite: running into people who like to tell me that they ran into my ex-husband at the bar. I never hear of them running into him anywhere else…..that’s odd. I hate that. Or how about this one: there is no such thing as a silent/quiet divorce in a small town! I’m not the only person to have had that experience and since it would seem that half of the town is doing it these days it just becomes depressing to find out that people I knew well, partied with, whose children attended the same pre-school as mine are now in financial distress and divorce. YUCK!
MFH and I have talked a lot about leaving. Given the economy I would pack it all up and move to some other country in a heartbeat but then reality takes a baseball bat and hits me in the head and the idea is gone as fast as it came. Every time I think “FLEE, RUN, FASTER…..FASTER!!” I hit that brick wall that I like to call my children and I’m reminded that they need the stability of the small town environment in these most unstable of times.
So I guess we’ll be here for another 7 years or so. Long enough to hope for a housing market rebound and for the kids to be off at college. Then we’ll pack up and high tail it to an exotic island in the Carribean……or Mexico maybe! I doubt that will happen but one can dream!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: birthdays, cigarettes, daughters, Dr. Laura, friends, girls, kids, mistakes, parenting, priorities, smoking, stupidity, teenagers
Tomorrow FD turns 14.I can’t believe it, seriously, I cannot believe that I have a 14 year old…..who’s half an inch taller than me, and I’m not short! It got me thinking about all of the stupid stuff I did at her age, and it made me very thankful that I’m a much more involved parent than CAM ever was (but this is not about CAM!).
By the time I reached the age of 14 I had already tried my first cigarette (and that’s all I’m telling you about). I will NEVER forget this story, mainly because I learned what an incredible idiot I was. I was about 12 or 13 and CAM was always working all the time, she didn’t get home until late. My friend Lisa was planning on coming over after school and when we got home she produced a cigarette that she had stolen from her mom. We really had no idea what to do with it but we were so excited we couldn’t stand it! Since we were so afraid that someone would see us, we decided that the best place to try this cancer stick would be in my bathroom, window open, fan on……that should take care of the smell right? Wrong. CAM came home about 2 hours after we had lit up and she could smell it from the front door to the back of the house. I was toast, as usual. Funny thing was that her ranting was so normal that I think I took to tuning her out really well. I’ve repressed the memories of the punishments……that’s not a joke, I seriously don’t remember what happened even though I know I was punished!
My point is that with everything that the kids are being taught in school there is no way that FD would even think about trying a smoke. The schools have these kids scared so straight I am amazed. And I’m not the only mom that feels this way. When I talk to other moms about what we did at this age versus what our girls are doing now we all laugh and thank God that we’re able to keep better track of our kids. And maybe that’s why we do it. CAM didn’t make me a priority and most of my other friends had moms that worked and simply trusted that the kids would be okay and stay out of trouble. But for those of us that got into trouble we’re so knowledgeable about what the kids could be doing that we’ve made a conscious effort to be home when the kids get home from school or volunteer in the classroom or get to know our kids’ friends parents or install home alarm systems in an effort to keep the kids in (not burglars out)!
Either way I’m thankful for the fact that the schools are doing a great job with drug and tobacco education, that there are people like Dr. Laura who aren’t afraid to tell people that kids are the priority, NOT careers and I’m mostly thankful for the knowledge that I gained through my own stupidity. My hope is that my children learn from my mistakes and that they benefit from my knowledge of what NOT to do! Well, one can hope!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: children, danger, kids, news story, parenting, stranger
Last night was not my proudest moment but I suppose that if the story made even one parent stop and think about reminding their kids not to answer the door to a stranger then I guess, in a weird way that I did something good for society. Who cares that it made me look like an idiot, right?! Okay, so I took one for the team!
(Hint: Click on the highlighted “Story” in the paragraph to see the “Stranger Danger” story)
OK, maybe I’m the crazy one after all!!?? News channel 12 is coming over in one hour to test my children and I may have to turn in my “Mother of the Year” award because of it.
My friend Katie asked me to help her out. She’s a news writer for our local Fox affiliate and they are planning a show for the evening news for next month’s “sweeps week”. The idea is this: 1. No adults at home (I’ll be waiting down the street) 2. Have one of the guys from the studio come to the door of the home, ring the doorbell 3. See if the kids answer the door 4. Lesson learned: either I’m a good parent and the kids refuse to answer the door OR I’m doing a horrible job, they answer the door, admit that I’m gone then the news crew interviews me about what a horrible mother I am!!!! AARRGGHHH!
I’m having 2nd thoughts. Maybe in an effort to look like a good parent I should warn them about the impending “trickery”? OR maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s them and they should be grounded for answering the door when I’ve told them several times not to!! OR maybe it will teach them a lesson and scare them just enough that they’ll never do it again??!!
OR, maybe they will NOT answer the door and I will get to keep my “Mother of the Year” award………..we shall see.
